A couple of days ago, I posted about the “Early To Rise” Challenge. I did not rise early today, unless you call between 7:30 and 8:00 am “rising early.” So now, I can tell you what not to do:
1. The night before you will attempt to rise early, sit in positions that bad for your posture so that your back is sore when you lie down to go to sleep.
2. Stay up late. Make sure you don’t get to bed until at least 11:30 or 12:00
3. Waste the extra hours that you stayed up. Go through your RSS feeds . . . slowly. Alternate between checking Facebook, ESPN, ESPN soccernet, and EPL transfer rumors (note: EPL transfer rumors generally have no factual basis whatsoever). Check your Amazon seller account every five minutes for new sales. Wash rinse, repeat for two hours. Don’t read a book or do anything that may even be slightly construed as productive.
4. Eat. Ignore the fact that your body is 99 percent lard already and that today’s calorie expenditure has been roughly 50 calories more than if you had slept for the past 24 hours. Eat lots of snacks. You can even eat “healthy snacks” like I did — black bean chips, peanut butter bars. These “healthy snacks” will still give you the same caloric intake as a bag of potato chips and a couple of candy bars. Just make sure you add another 600-800 calories to an already bloated diet.
5. Tell yourself, “I deserve to sleep in for all of this!”